Presenting the First Annual Fifth Anniversary Andre Awards, honoring the most devious, obnoxious, honorable, and stupid characters ever to grace the small screen.
At a separate ceremony earlier this week, Officer Caroline Massey handed out the following awards for the past four seasons...
Season One: The Barksdales
Biggest Asshole: Bill Rawls
Dumbest Asshole: Wallace (runner-up, Wendell "Orlando" Blocker)
Craftiest Bastard: Maurice Levy
Heart of Gold: Omar Little
Most Improved: Roland Pryzbylewski (runner-up, Cedric Daniels)
Tragic Hero: Jimmy McNulty (runner-up, D'Angelo Barksdale)
Season Two: The Port
Biggest Asshole: Stringer Bell
Dumbest Asshole: Ziggy Sobotka
Craftiest Bastard: The Greek
Heart of Gold: Beatrice "Beadie" Russell
Most Improved: Cedric Daniels
Tragic Hero: Frank Sobotka
Season Three: Hamsterdam
Biggest Asshole: Bill Rawls
Dumbest Asshole: Howard "Bunny" Colvin (runner-up, Clarence Royce)
Craftiest Bastard: Tommy Carcetti (runner-up, Marlo Stanfield)
Heart of Gold: Howard "Bunny" Colvin
Most Improved: Dennis "Cutty" Wise (runners-up, Ellis Carver and Jimmy McNulty)
Tragic Hero: Stringer Bell (runner-up, Howard "Bunny" Colvin)
Season Four: The Schools
Biggest Asshole: DeLonda Brice
Dumbest Asshole: Thomas "Herc" Hauk
Craftiest Bastard: Stan Valchek
Heart of Gold/Teacher of the Year: Howard "Bunny" Colvin
Most Improved: Namond Brice
Tragic Hero: Bubbles (runner-up, Preston "Bodie" Broaddus)
The Fuzzy Dunlop Award for Inconspicuous Gallantry
For the most accomplished but unrecognized hero/bastard/asshole.
Biggest Asshole: Marlo Stanfield
Dumbest Asshole: Ellis Carver (seasons 1-3)
Craftiest Bastard: Maurice Levy and Lester Freamon (tie)
Heart of Gold: Walon
Most Improved: Ellis Carver (seasons 3-5)
Tragic Hero: Preston "Bodie" Broaddus
And now, the moment all seven of you have been waiting for...
Season Five: The Media
Biggest Asshole: Thomas "Herc" Hauk
Dumbest Asshole: Jimmy McNulty
Craftiest Bastard: Nerese Campbell
Heart of Gold: Kima Greggs
Most Improved: Reginald "Bubbles" Cousins
Tragic Hero: Cedric Daniels
For the record, my picks before the final episode were Herc, McNulty, Nerese, Kima, Bubbles, and Omar or McNulty, respectively. The final episode didn't do much to upset the favorites. A dizzying number of candidates stepped forward to make their bids for Craftiest Bastard: Steintorf, Rawls, Freamon, Pearlman, and Levy were all in top form, and Stan pulled off his biggest coup yet. But none of that was enough to knock off Nerese Campbell, who played the best game from start to finish and also showed some moves Sunday night. That's quite a feat, upstaging Valchek on the night of his greatest victory.
Heart of Gold was a tough call. Bunk embodied the show's favored approach to police work in the first half of the season, and provided that lone voice of dissent against McNulty's scam. He also showed that his approach works when he got the warrant on Partlow. Kima took the spotlight in the second half of the season, straightening out her personal life and moving to protect her department and her friends from themselves. In the end, I went with Kima. Not just because Jimmy and Lester recognized that she did the right thing, or that she was a better police for doing it, but because Bunk had a chance to nip the scam in the bud when it would have been easy, and he blew it; Kima came to it when it was already too late to stop it, and she stood up to it anyway.
Dumbest Asshole was easy, especially when Landsman's eulogy all but lobbied for Jimmy Mac (in both the Biggest and Dumbest categories). Whatever mistakes the other characters made, he set almost all of them in motion. And there are two other awards that should surprise nobody. I am glad that Andre snagged an Andre.
The big shocker was in Tragic Hero, when McNulty didn't get the tragic ending that I think it's safe to say we were all expecting. Getting drummed out of the police is the best thing that could have happened to him, and Beadie seems inclined to take him back. I would say it's better than he deserves, but he did clean up his act in the past three episodes and solving those real murders reminded us all why the police were willing to put up with his shit in the first place: sometimes he really is as smart as he thinks he is. At least when he's working a case and not playing department politics.
Absent the expected McNulty flame-out, Gus Haynes might seem like the closest thing to this season's Tragic Hero: he is the one who goes up against the institutional gods and falls hard because of it. (Remember when I said the editors would go after him through his subordinates? Sorry, Alma.) But he's not the perfect fit that Bell and Sobotka were, and not just because most of his fall happens off-screen. For too much of the season, he accepts his institution's flaws and his role within it. He might bitch about the editors in the smokers' lounge or even toss out a pissy line when he storms out of a meeting, but he never makes any serious bid to challenge Whiting and Klebanow until they've already invested too much in Templeton to turn on him. I say this as a criticism of the character, not the writing; this petulant streak complicated Gus and belied all those early criticisms that he was too perfect. More seriously, though--and this was a problem in the writing--Haynes was also too passive to be a great hero, tragic or otherwise. Too many weeks were spent sitting in the newsroom, missing the stories that swirled around him.
And then we have Omar. He had the rise and fall, especially if we read seasons four and five as one continuous story (which the Omar, Marlo, Michael, Dukie, and Prop Joe plots certainly were). In a matter of weeks he moved from godlike superhero to lonely casualty.
But what institution did he rail against?
Omar fulfilled a venerable and well-defined role in the drug trade. So well-defined that his replacement is groomed almost before the body is cold... but then, you can say that about all the show's supposed mavericks, McNulty included. Bunny Colvin is possibly the only figure who doesn't get replaced in some fashion in the series finale, a true rarity, somebody with both the institutional power and the moral convictions to try real systemic reform. A damn shame there's only one of him. But, getting back to Omar--he never really challenges the drug trade so much as dominates his particular niche. The one thing that set him apart was his highly developed personal code of ethics, and that eroded as the season progressed. Factor in his deliberately, brilliantly anti-heroic ending and I think you can say that the writers have finally accomplished the daunting task they set themselves back in season three: they have made it impossible to view Omar as a hero.
Cedric Daniels makes a much better Tragic Hero in the Bell/Sobotka mold, though that only gains force with the last couple episodes. But he challenges the mayor's warped priorities from the beginning of the season, he refuses to compromise his principles, and he falls a lot farther than Haynes does. His rise to commissioner offered the best hope for the city, and his fall is a tragedy for everyone.
(Part of me, the part of me that gets completely emotionally invested in the show and can't write about it with any detachment at all, wonders why he accepted Nerese's hold over him so easily. I'm afraid Simon and Burns have stacked their bittersweet ending. Daniels had the dirtiest dirt of all time on Carcetti and Rawls, and it's not like he'd have to dig too deep to find some on Nerese. Hell, put Lester to work on her. Baltimore would be a lot better off if Cedric Daniels had asked himself one simple, always appropriate question: WWSVD?)
Once again, the worst fate befalls one of the kids--last year Randy Wagstaff, this year Dukie Weems--as the show continues its shift from the outsize personalities of Greek tragedy to the smaller and more painful suffering of naturalist prose (and, this season, postmodern black comedy). "Tragic Hero" doesn't seem quite appropriate anymore; the kids fall the shortest distance but they have the roughest landings. If there were an Andre for Helpless Victim, that could only be Dukie.
(So the category I added at the last minute was the toughest one to decide. Thanks for nothing, Jones.)
And finally, the bragging rights for the whole series...
The Ray Cole Lifetime Achievement Award
Biggest Asshole: Bill Rawls
Dumbest Asshole: Thomas "Herc" Hauk
Heart of Gold: Howard "Bunny" Colvin
Most Improved: Ellis Carver
Tragic Hero: Stringer Bell
and Craftiest Bastard for Life: Commissioner Stan Valchek.
Always remember, friends...
He would take your punk ass to school, that's what.
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